Tuesday, January 27, 2009

Marriage? No ways

This morning, I was chatting with a friend of mine who recently got married and I was complementing him on how lucky he was to be enjoying all the benefits of marriage.

He sent me an email which I just had to share with all the single guys and those who are looking forward to making those vows. Beware......

Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence)

Marriage is an institution in which a man loses his bachelor's Degree and the woman gets her masters.

A married life is full of excitement and frustrations. In the first year of marriage, the man speaks and the woman listens. In the second year, the woman speaks and the man listens. In the third year, they both speak and the NEIGHBOURS listen.

Getting married is very much like going to the restaurant with friends. You order what you want, and when you see what the other fellow has...you wish you had ordered that instead.

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!

Love is one long sweet dream, and marriage is the alarm clock.

When a newly married man looks happy, we know why. But when a 10-year married man looks happy, we wonder, why?

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

Marriage is a man and woman become one. The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.

At a cocktail party, one woman said to another...AREN'T YOU WEARING YOUR RING ON THE WRONG FINGER? The other replied, YES, I AM, I MARRIED THE WRONG MAN.

A Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished.

It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

When a man opens the door of his car for his wife, you can only be sure of one thing -Either the car is new or the wife is.


Disclaimer. This is just to make you laugh, marriage can be a good thing if u MAKE IT.
STILL UNMARRIED? Do not be that scared. Marriage is better than waking up next to an empty pillow


19 comments:

Emi's said...

For Cheri, Who's tying the knot soon

Mjay said...

Interesting remarks, I especially like the disclaimer :-).

Robyn said...

"Marriage is not a word. It's a sentence (a life sentence)" am thinkin hard around that statement.

3TOC said...

mama nze.lol @ a man is incomplete until he gets married then he is finished.Oba you use "complete" not finished.

I think sometime with this single/married thing we have a "the grass in greener on the other side" attitude.

Miss Cheri said...

Exchuz, abaana! Tying the knot with (to) who?

Emi, do u know something I don't?

Princess said...

"A Man is incomplete until he gets married, then he is finished."

Lmao!

Princess said...

Hi Emi!

val said...

Cheri I want to be flower girl at your wedding okie???

Now I'm wondering why your NEWLY married pal is forwarding you this type of email..

Anonymous said...

Apr9.........

Good u put the disclaimer....

Will surely get married one sweet day and then i ll write wat i think abt marriage.

With the ryt person and motive marriage is bliss i want to believe.

tumwijuke said...

Child, how old are you, 10? There is no way you are even a remote authority on marriage. Kid, please ;-)

Emi's said...

Mjay, Thanks for dropping by.

Robyn, not all life sentences are that bad.

3Toc, interesting point of view..i believe that somehow every married person sometimes misses the single life and vice versa.

Cheri, apologies for letting the cat out of the bag..hope you don't mail back the ring and disappoint val.

val, am thinking he wanted me to have a good laugh and rub off the perception marriage is a bed of roses without the thorns.

Hi Princess

Apr9, I hope so

Tumwijuke, you surprise moi.
Are you married?

Erique said...

Behind every successful man is a woman.

Behind every successful woman is a worried man.

jny23ug said...

eh eh eh, ill pretend i didnt see the disclaimer and push it 2 years further.

lulu said...

me am not in a hurry, i hear many horror stories about marriage

Miss Cheri said...

Lol, ok...forgot abot that one.

Shit, please don't retract your proposal...

And now we are sorted via flower girls...

SilverBow said...

obviously this was compiled by a guy.i am for the disclaimer anyways...i dont care what anyone says about marriage, i shall venture there and try to make it work.i'm ready to make it work.i grew up with my mother and father in separate homes and i doubt either of them was fully happy, although they refuse to admit it.i intend to do better than they did.God helop us all.
Cheri...???????????????????????

Ugandan girl said...

There was this man who muttered a few words in the church and found himself married. A year later he muttered something in his sleep and found himself divorced!


lol.....naye Emi ...why are you lieing to everyone that you are dooms day.

Carsozy said...

Hi! Emi's howz the NYC, aint taking the plunge soon and thanks to your post not even in the far future, disclaimer or no disclaimer.

Oyin said...

hahahah this had me cracking up...and Im stealing this for my blog....hahaha



Hey dont run all the good men away!!