Thursday, November 13, 2008

eeeooowwww!!.... my 4 worst moments

What happened to me today inspired me to write about these long forgotten matters. Obviously, we all have been in a situation or event that caused you absolute embarrassment and you could not think of anything other than the ground opening up and swallowing you to hide from all that shame.

From the start, I knew it was not going to be a good day. It started with the oversleep and me jumping out of bed @ 8:30am, that was late very late. The internship place is almost 45Min's away with the $van and an hr with the bus, but I was not getting late again today. The thing is I'd promised to quit if i ever made it late again and am a man of my word.

There was not time to take that much needed shower considering I'd even skipped the night one but at least I tried to brush and wash my face, the rest of the other small things would be done en route, so I threw in all the necessary stuff in my bag and rushed off. After the combing, polishing and finalising the dress up in the van, the most important item was not there. OMG where is that deo, where could it be? Am a profuse sweater at certain times and having to go with no antiperspirant is total condemnation for me besides, it also helps for the times when I've skipped with the usual shower.

I still went on and surprisingly was on time at least some thing good came out of the rush. However I was completely uncomfortable soon because within 30Min's of the teaching session, I was already feeling the perspiration trialing down my arm and I had no back up plan. I did try walking around with only my shirt and going out during the breaks yet even tho everyone else had on their heavy coats, I was not feeling the cold.

The sweat still continued for a while and my only prayer was no one would notice. I was totally embarrassed when T-bag talked to me at the end of the day and offered to bring me a deo the next day, some one had noticed in fact all the guys around me must have and I sat between two lovey girls the whole time. I feel scorned and sorry for making them suffer. He did further on talk about the sweaty smell and on the bus home, some high school girls noticed and kept holding their nose when looking at me. I lived through it all but am at loss on how to redeem my self. Of course the deo was smiling on my table when I got home, like it was laughing at me for not considering him first.
Lesson:never forget to pack the deo never.

The following are the winners of some of those other moments that have happened from the past. I rarely got an eeeooowww moment at home but somehow excelled in them at school . Of course they are quite a number and would take some hours to read/write but I'll only do 4.

1: The VIP treatment.
Starting my secondary, I was first made a day scholar when I'd just joined S.S. I had to run to the loos after my first lunch, It was a hole in the ground and when I went in for the afternoon lesson, the VIP perfume clung on my like some leech. It was too late there was not way I could shower or get it off me. The teacher was very miserable and he put it out on me no going out so all those classmates had to bear. It did wear off eventually but I earned the nickname stinky for almost week.
Lesson: Only kakka if the next step is showering.

2: Jazzing up the chic
This beautiful damsel a class below me was sitting in my exam room. during exams, you'd be distributed in different classrooms all over the school. this would give me chance to make a mark and impress. Gathering all my knowledge, I found myself on her desk during the night prep in order to try the charm some time during the reading. I do not how it happened but I woke up with a paper cigar in my mouth and a painful feel on my back from slap the teacher on duty. generously supplied. Apparently I was snoring so loudly and to think that the damsel did not even wake me up made me know she was not impressed. I spent the rest of the night standing in front of the classroom as if the shame from all the shells and abuses from the teacher. was not punishment enough. I changed to another exam room 3 classes away the very next day.
Lesson: Get lots of sleep before attempting to date some chic

3:The open fly.
Am certain most guys have had this one at some point. You know the stunt of opening up your zip and pulling the shirt to make a perfect tuck in, that's how mine began. I was a back bencher most of the time and before I'd completed one of these stunts, some chic claimed I was keeping her pen, I put the book in front of me on my laps to show there was nothing on the desk, she insisted and came over to look for her self. Every one was looking now and when she removed the book (without warning) the ka shirt sprang out and every one saw. The laughter that followed made the issues of the pen be forgotten and people made up all kinds of stories to torment me afterwards.
Lesson: Tuck in only in private.

4: The uncommon fart.
There was a fart master in class. He'd already done over 10 and every one was pretty much used to his stuff, to such a point it rose no laughter or surprise when he did it. So on some particular night prep, He opened up the reading with a quite one only few people must have heard. Towards the end of prep, I remembered his fart and suddenly burst into laughter, It was not even expected but out came this huge fart, it was more about the sound than smell because half the class must have heard it and every one burst out laughing. I immediately replaced the fart master and people still went to bed laughing about it, lucky it was the end of prep.
Lesson: Don't be laughing at other peoples mistakes

Those are the few I could feel O.k sharing of course they are some others I don't even want to start thinking about because I'd get so down.
Am sure some of you'll have had your moment
. What is the most embarrassing one you can share?


nevender said...

Do i have them?

nevender said...

Yes!!! I got them.

But they are for Ms Cheri.

The rest of the things would be done en route - Like the shower???

Wabula the things men do...impressing a damsel at exam time? And I thot you were different!lol.

Bro, we share a lot in common about the moments but civility bids me to shut up.

I wonder what Ms Cheri will say...

The Emrys said...

dude, trust me you are not alone, most of us have experienced atleast 2 of these :D

jny23ug said...

All these are "kodak" sorry, very funny moments.

Had one just yesterday. I have an office of my own so i always do my
bu-farts free style coz am not inconviniencing anyone. But yesterday i released a "stinky bomb" and its at that moment that beautiful co-worker decides to come check on me. Damn, i was so embarassed. Started rumbling about the carpet stinking, sewerage, global warming, ozone layer, etc....

Mimi said...

Ha ha ha ha i just can't stop laughing. Atleast you have not had the shame of your period leaking through your white skirt...

nevender said...

@Johnny....hahahahaha, that was very funny.

@Mimi...I can only say sorry...those are things I do not really understand.

When I was in P2 I remember having asked the class teacher to go out for a short call, I was dying!! Naye the woman (I'm sure it was a woman) refused. Unfortunately for me, I could not hold it any longer, and slowly by slowly my khaki shorts became wet... infront of Connie...(tearing)...

Cheri said...

Thanks Nevender.

Gonna read this later...going to some rubbish hearing.

petesmama said...

Gosh dude! You have ha-had in your lifetime!

Ugandan girl said...

omg dude you have seen

for me all the times my father made it a point to throw out any boys that came home to see me or worse called the house and he answered the told me that my father told a him that he would pray dangerouse prayers for him dude thot he would become impotent he never spoke to me again.

Solomon King said...

This is worrying, it's like I was ticking off a list as I read your stuff.

Still, wicked funny moments.

Tandra said...

LOL this stuff is bad but u just made my day... thank you

Emi's said...

Nev, lol you should know the drill. tnxs for taking care of this place while I was away. u said what ii wanted to.

mimi, that i could never feel. it must have been bad..

petesmama, I've always wanted to know the exact meaning of that word, "ha-had"...i sometimes find myself unconsciously using it

Ug Girl, Am sure you've had your moments worse than that.

S.K I thought you was holy and least we have some few stuff in common.

Tandra, anything for you.

Princess said...

Why did this not show up in my reader earlier??
[bad reader! bad!]

*Oba 'ha-had' is difficult to explain?
Those are pretty horrible moments, Emi. I has been amused though. :)

Erique said...

eew mimi. the things prople do to stay women

Erique said...

*prople=people. lol my own eeeooowwwww!!

Princess said...

But still doesn't make sense. LOL
"to stay women?"

Erique said...

:) i expected someone to complain. i mean do u have to go thru that mimi stuff to stay a woman? ask for a sex change lol

Princess said...

@ Erique:Testosterone is overrated. :P

Kin'shar said...

I am so laughing....ok ok, I have to list my most embarrassing moments.

Dang, gotta remember some of them :P

Minty said...

ooooh, lol! But usually the fly is so shaped that even when it's open at least some 'things' are out of view, no?